Seasons Greetings

Monday ~ went out with dada, we went vivo , watched the golden compass. It is a ok movie to me. Things i liked was the bears animation and nicole kidman's acting. this kind of fanatsy movie is still nt my cup of coffee. I think it's more clara.. haha .. oh we had a romantic night at the sky garden at vivo, very comfortable weather , but i and dada did stupid stuffs, shot video and read chinese newspaper. So unsightly reading chinese newspaper in such a romantic atmosphere.

Ok tuesday i met my primary sch buddy gwee hua . I always call her gui ( ghost). Hee, that girl made us the centre of attraction every single place we went at orchard , bcos of her hair. Everyone was looking , its amazing how she can stand this kind of attraction. She changed her style from hip hop to japan anima kind. So her hard was like blonde with some portion black , spiked and covering half of her face. So yeah.. but i did not feel she changed much , still the girl is not very loud , but has a loud style and a great talent. I am seriously happy for her that she can do something that she liked. She proved to me that Singapore's education is nt just abt grades.

I am happy that our friendship is 10 years alrd. Hmm, for primary buddies i only have gui , sec sch i have hui xin n wei ling , they are the onli 2 who i think i sincere when talkin to me , the rest .. haiz .. Hmm .. for poly , hu will keep in contact with ? God knows , its too early to say.

Hey peeps, whoever u are .

Pls take a look at happymoonface.blogspot.com, i and hx have updated some necklaces that i made. So pls try and support.

Hmm.. i am watchin asean idol now with my mum, so happy that rui en gt into top 10 , but i am even happier that ou xuan did not get it. Who ask her fans last week so crude, bet now they are crying..haha i am so wicked. I was like a so loud at home , screaming rui en's name . And when my mum say rui en dun noe how to walk, i quickly rebut her.. But realli must admit , rui en's out fit don't look nice. Hmm tml will be goin out with shu wen , i think its a long time since both of us go datin le. i am excited, cause i wanna go shoppin!!!!

haiz .. i am so crazy every hour go and check whether they post any news abt the tickets . Everyone one at the forum is like so anxious. I dun believe there is no ticks lei , how can that happen. Ok anyway , i am have cool down , but have nt thot carefulli yet. Anyway i have 2 weeks holiday time. Jason went to look after the cats, and he told us that the cats sratch him. Yucks i hate cats. My health is a little bad these few days, and it's internally. Mummy is kinda worried but i told her i am ok. But act i dun think i am , in fact i am a little scared. But i will monitor myself, it the problem is getting worse then i shall go X ray.

Ok this post is for the who u are too ..

I read ur blog and the last sentence realli pissed me off, u said what all my frens wan is for me to be myself . U mean wat i am fake whenever i am with the rest . For the last time i am saying to anyone " i am nt " whether u believe or not , i dun fuckin care, its ok if u don't understand , but dun ask me to change ! others dun have such problems ok , onli u n huixin ( sorry hui xin for bringing u in , but i am just providing her with real truths ) U said i treat every body the same , do u know that everyone also can see that i treat u so diff. U always expect from me , how abt me , when i am down or sad u also dun noe , the ppl then come n check me out is ester n mandy . And when i tell them my problems , they dun take sides, they realli listen and even tell me how u feel. I won't mind if u tell another fren , everyone needs advices and someone to listen , if everythin i also just sit down n think n think then i will just go bonkes one day.

Do u know the amt of tears that flowed , u words seriously hurt me so fuckin much. If i dun understand wats wrong with having a friendship with mandy, yi xun n vivian. They are good frens , amanda n u are of course higher position , if amanda can feel so i dun even noe why u can't. I dun belong to anyone ! Does nt mean that i have other frens where i can go out n laugh and tell my probs with make me fake ok !( i onli tell mandy n yixun n when amanda is ard too) It is because u dun tell thats why u always feel that u are in the right.
U don'tfeel my sincerity does not mean it does not exist. Even amanda also can see that i always give in.
. I admit that from year 1 till year 3 i have changed. But i have changed in a better way for myself , i understand ur way of making frens but that does not mean that u want me to change. I will never change bcos of wat others think of me . This is my life.

Sometimes i get so tired , when u tell me u don't who n who , so i have to distance myself against these ppl. But after some thots , i felt why shld i , i shld be comfortable with who i am with , and not let u decide my circle of frens.

I am realli angry when u said that if i don't tackle this prob then i will face with others. So its my fault onli , sometimes i feel so digusted when i always have the feeling that u are always
so disatisfied with me.Hui xin once ask me , i treat u as my best fren , don't i want u to treat me as ur best fren too. I told hui xin , that i dun mind , even if u don't.

Enough of all the stuffs, i just wanna tell u that when there is a prob in a friendship , its both sides also gt prob. So dear frens , pls dun think n think then shoot me a big bomb, unhappy with me then tell me, n we solve , everything put inside i won't know. No matter what , dun ever ask me to change bcos of ur feelings towards me. if i really change bcos of u all the words then i am realli fake n worth nothing.

Seriously , i am not ready for a talk yet cause i feel that u have not reflected on yourself. And i need time to reflect on myself too.if we call for a talk , i hope that amanda can be there too , whatever u are disastified can say out since the group is not just about i and you. I am sure each of us have our problems that we ever clarify.

Haiz ..

wrote a long post , but when i posted it up , i save it as draft . I think its better for me to tell the author my thots when i am ready. As for now, i wanna put the prob behind my back, 3 rounds of tears are enough. When one day i find a island called "yes i understand " i will just fly there so that i will not get heart problems. Ok , i am nt realli happy to write hyper stuffs, but i shall post the pics with took with felica chin today. I maximise the pic on my com , and realise that three of us look like frens, cause felica chin's smile was realli very comfortable, she put her on my back , and i forgot whether i put on hers , but i put on amanda's so it realli looks like a frens pic.Although i gt a feeling that amanda was shy. oh the rest of the pic is amanda ask me to take one. I am not chen feng ling fanatic. The last pic is a my calm reservior, if onli my heart is calm too.

I am releasing this post , that i saved as draft on thur.

wow , i need to control my emotions a little before writing this post. The same old problem was shoot back to me again today with the auothor having no harm. However, the author is enough to kill me without a sword. I want to release a draft entry that i wrote long ago when the same thing was brought up to me by another author.

" Everyone has diff ways of loving, i am a person who dun noe how to express my true inner feelings. Its' bcos i feel that no one can understand my thinkings except myself.I have been asking myself or even ppl been asking me now, why i don't show ppl ho i care or concern. And they feel that they are treated the same as others . Well wat i feel is that if u understand then u will noe i am not such a person. I always put my true care n concern in the deepest side and inner side of my heart which belongs to me only. Unable to feel my love does not mean it does not exist. Maybe its bcos u r taking things for granted. "

Yup thats the post i wrote long ago. Until this second , i am still confused and lost , although had a good time laughing with the rest just now, the prob is still at the back of my head. Today i cry with one eye man .. so amazing.

Seriously i dun noe wat to say , i do not treat ppl the same, i noe for myself. Ok if both authors want examples , i shall give, for example: the first person that comes into my head when i am realli unhappy is hui xin. the person whom i think will understand my thots is daphy. The first person whom i think i wanna have a enjoyable conversation is amanda. Dun ask me to rank u all. For the ranking , if u really understand, u will know where u stand.

Of course for classmates i treat them the same la , for example jeslin, yi xun, vivian , kai lin julai are all treated the same.

Sometimes , i grow closer to other ppl is bcos, they are seriously more sensitive to my feelings. They know it when i am down and no need to say anything , and they will comfort me . For example in poly would be mandy n ester. Do you know how sad i am when , my best frens do not even sense that i am unhappy. I may laugh outside but nt inside, u may say that i am fake, but i just dun wanna to make others feel moody just bcos of me. Its also sad when u do things and ppl just can't see.

I am tired of the same prob, so tired that i feel that i shld change myself to suit others so that they will be happy. So tired that i feel so scared to approach u all , cause i am scared of getting hurt. I opened my heart to u all ( whether u feel it or not ) and i may slowly chose to close it.

Sometimes when i have these kind of problems , i feel that i am so "nothing" wat ever i do , i try to make others happy. Maybe i have a big ego, but i hate the feeling of having ppl dislikin my attitude or character. maybe if anyone have issues abt me , dun tell me , just dun friend me . Maybe i will feel better.

Whatever is it now , i just feel like putting this at the back of my head until i have sorted out my own feelings.

i and daph are in big trouble , we are en addicted.. haha .. met daph for lunch and pei her go take MC, and we just continued our conversation from yesterday, without geeting bored. Sayin the same stuffs over n over. Haha .. we like still in a daze. We are touched by her trueful actions and sincerity, i never thot that my idol will keep saying thank u to me , just because i went to see her. A star that purposely immediately after the show signal to u to go outside n meet her. Waited for us , we all of us just walked there with no rush. She talked to us for half n hour. Raised out her hand to reach my notebook when my hand was covered by all the other ppl. When she talks to u , she looks at u in the eye. And she talks to u only, the other good fans will just keep quiet n nt interrupt. Did not like her as much as after we met her.having true contacts with her are more realistic then making assumptions. But our assumptions were right, cause we belive in her.

Ok back to my realistic world now , hmm IB is like never ending, i n jes just keep editing and finding info to back up. I am so sick of that , and i now i still need to find extra info. Kai lin just sms me , and i am kinda happy abt the effective writing. Onli one online whom i have never seen. Read ester's blog today, kinda worried abt her mood , but she msn me on sat seems ok. Shall drop her a mail after projects. That shawn is just like another joel. So childish, can't even take critisms.

Oh and i think that there are other readin my blog. But its okie .. All welcomed ! Just hope that u guys will not feel bored with my stuffs.

Our amazing day with rui en

I seriously dun noe whr to start , every thing happen today so unbelivable. So i shall cut intro details short

1.30 pm - me , daph n amanda felt that no more hope to go star awards

3.30pm - on the bus thinkin haiz onli can see rui en on tv

3.39pm - sms ! 2 ticks ! Shocking

Yeah , so i immediately gt off the bus to take a cab home to change then take a cab to mediacorp, cause had to be there by 5.30. Yeah , the start of the show was so cute seeing fann wong n chirs lee playing. Then rui en , saw us . I n daph were like so crazy , she asked us whether we ate anot , i n daph pointed ok to her. Then the show began with our minds still stuck with rui en . When we were seating there , we two were like sayin ah ya today not enough rui en , all xiang yun n huang wenyong. But .... our amazin rui en surprised us . As we wave to her , and she wave back to me , ( i noe it cause i n daph were the onli one wavin and there were onli 12 ppl ) so she told us , this time all the 12 to go somewhere ( all in sign lang ) . I n daph just happily follwoed the rest of the ppl.

Then ......... daph turned ard said rui en to me !

Rui en was waiting for us in the car lor , i was so shocked, its like first ever i saw her in real life just now , n now she's smiling to us in her car. Wat happen next was unbelivable too.

First rui en said :" Wah why so many ppl ?"" so many strangers today "

All the ppl were then silent

Rui en: " why so quiet , i look at u , u look at me " ( she's so cute n shy)

Then .. Me : Hi

Rui En : Hi , wats ur name

Me: Jacintha

Then ppl started takin pics

Me: Continue to work hard.

Rui En : nod head

Ok then , i and daph took pics with her la .

Then.. i took out my fury note book n our conversation started again

Me : Sorry ah .. the note book a bit ...

Rui En : Its okie !

( She started to write )

Rui En : Jacintha rite ( My goodness , at that time the joy was damm great la .. my idol remembers my name)

Me : Yeah

Rui En : So hw old r

Me : 19?

Rui En : Wat u doin ?

Me : Oh , studying in NYP marketing

Rui En : Oh great! sch holidays now ah ?

Me : No, i just came n support u ma .. Tml still gt sch

Rui En : (she passed me back the book ) Thanks !

Me : Welcome .. Bye !

i seriously dun noe how to explain , the politness n friendness of her, if u were there u wld noe la . Oh , now while typin , i remembered she said thanks for coming also in very sincere way. It is realli a great star struck day . We will definetly appear at her events lor . The feelin so amazing when an idol whom u respect actualli ask abt u n remembers ur name.

Okie Pics .. Wonderful pics !

stressed

was so stress today all bcos of IB, i got a lot of stuffs not confident on the project. So i went out alone to buy dinner for my bro n mum. Yeah after some time alone , where the night breeze was so cool n nice, i felt much better. And started chioing my projects. Now , finally finished. Hmm .. i gotta wake up early in the morning to go dye hair with the other crazy 2. And hopefully .. ( i am prayin ) we can go star awards to support rui en at night. We were so crazy on the phone just now man.

Daphy wrote a touching post on her blog, i n amanda were like so touched. Seriously , my feelings are the same too .Without them, my poly life will be nothing. Although we have quarrels n disagree on certain things at times, which made me feel so tired, sad, teared. However the both of them are beside me most of the time. Ppl who know the most abt me.. Hope to share more wonderful enjoyable with these 2 ppl.

My fav pic of the week !

this week everyday i wake up with a not so good mood.. but mood gets better after a few hrs in sch . Its a sick week for me , luckily i am not havin any more flu , but ... my back is fucking pain .. haiz .. sometimes i realli worried that next time i can't get pregnant lor. i have nt start doin my IB , everyday i must read my daily digest , to see how are my frens n idols doing .. haha .. such a bore person i am. Ah .. i realli wanna dye my hair blue. dark yet shiny blue. But very few places have, and i know none.

did not go sch today, sick .. Mummy passed the virus to me . Well, she took half day cause she's nt ok yet. So mother n daughter stayed at home. Still have 3 more projects to go before i can enjoy the 2 weeks holiday. i tot i have a lot to write .. suddenly my mind is blank. Only think i feel like writting now is this : If i lose anyone in my life, i will become very lonely. If people lose me , will they feel lonely? I think we shld cherish our family more, no matter what kind of parents they are, good or bad. They will be the only ones who will be sad and thinking of u for the rest of their lives.

i am waiting for my boss to proof read my proposal , so i shall come and slack slack a while. Hmm i went church today n today jonathan leong was more handsome .. i see him everytime in church, he alway sits the next row beside me. Then at vivo , i saw slyvester n his not pretty gf , and he's in pink hair. Gross.. Haiz .. my boss( mummy) very pro sia, really read every sentence, and edit the whole report with me. I need to do the admendments later. Guess i can't start on BM .

okie .. better get goin to see my boss now ..

I just need a quiet listening ear .

3.15 am , Mandy n yixun slpin
Me , alone in the hall.
Projects quater done.
Mind in a emo state
Eyes tired

Sometimes realli feel that its so tiring to live.
Escaping is the first thing that comes to my mind,
Only after knowing that escaping would nt bring u anywhere, then courage comes in .
Having courage is easier said than done, to realli have the courage to face all the stuffs in life its nt easy at all.
I am still learning .

orh ho gui, orh ho siong ham.

yan ho dor si hao , will yao " lam um tong" ga si hao. lam um tong , ho fan , ho um hoi sum.
lam tong le , its no big deal . the period of lam um tong , so tiring , so upset, so depressed. dong lei lam tong zor , lei wil go dat zi gei ho sor, yan y, lam ga yeah um hai man tai le .

Pang yao dui orh hai ho zong u , i um hei mong they um hoi sum. but ho dor si hao , yan why um 100 % liu gai dui fong sor yi wil yao um hoi sum.

Today um hai hoi sum ga yat yat , ho dor si orh lam um tong. lam um tong yan why orh um hai 100% liu gai kui. Dan hai kui dui orh hai ho zong ui. um zi , pang yao ga guan hai wil last how long , dan hai orh wil gai kuit man tai . orh wil yong hei de hang or ga lo. yong hei de min dui zhong loy.

Yao si , orh wil gor dat ho gui, um zi dim gai wil gam , dim gai kui dey wil gam lam orh. gai sek ho dor chi do hai ho gui. um siong gai sek. dan hai , um gai sek , orh wil um hoi sum. ho fan.


Sorry no one will understand what i wrote, its in canto ( han yu pin ying version)

Forgive n Forget!

i just read the long email from ester dear , hmm , the silly girl is so sweet to reply me such a long email la .. when she's also busy with projects. Erm .. after i readin the email , i just feel that i this silly girl so much in class la. She's someone , with a very soft heart, even softer than mine lor.
Act i also feel sorry for jeslin , cause i remembered ester told me that jeslin is a girl who needs ppl to pei. That's why i try n smile to her whenever i can or doin projects. I know that she's someone whom u need to beware, but i think we shld let the past go , Yup . so i am gonna let it go. Actually i can feel the "strain" when doin projects alrd honestly, but i never say.. I know i am in the middle so i dun wanna make things so complicated, so i have to tolerate the "strain "

I think gossipin is has become a factor of poly life la , honestly its hard nt to gossip lor. But when i gossip i never tot of hurtin anyone , its just for entertaiment purpose. but act gossip does , and when the person is so weak alrd, can she bring much harm ? I chose to think that she won't now Since ester dear told me to look out for jeslin ,i will try my best . i think the onli think i can do is to make her feel tat she's nt invisible .

I seriously think God is lookin after me , in the afternoon i just read something, it says that christians ( act all religions i feel ) shld try n bring happiness to the ppl ard u . And one thing my mother always teaches me from real young , is to forgive n forget. Its amazing lor , after readin ester's email, i had some " unclear thoughts" then i remembered what i learnt today , and also what mummy teach. And.. my mind is clear now !

Babyxin's reply when i confide in her :
cos as we grow there are more and more things tat piss us off but we couldnt do anything abt it so we gossip to relieve .

I like the reply .. My soul mate always makes me feel better when i confide in her. :)

Clubbin with the peeps !

Oh ! Wat are they doin ?

Wow ! sexy sha !

Plush 's toilet seats are plaited with gold !!

Went clubbin with the peeps ytd, and i am still a little tired.. Ytd was fun although we did nt dance all night. Club hop from plush to MOS , i think clubs at central mall just can't make it la , but i have to admit that plush music was better than MOS , but .. the dance floor was nt open !! So weird la , a club with the dance floor close even when its alrd 11.30pm. We saw fuckin pretty transexual at MOS. And also some "weird" men. Hmm .. hope sat's escape will be sucessful, its a unsucessful event from year 2 lor.

bored with research

i am bored with research so i come blog again ..

Hmm.. i just discuss projects with jeslin ,And its rather weird ,honestly i dun wanna be the leader of any projects this sem unless there is realli a need. But in my point of view, i think jeslin has better brains n better at organizing n vettin our work. Yah so i hope she would be the leader. I am startin to have low confidence on the projects. I always have low confidence at things that i am nt sure .. i mean hu doesn't la. Yah but i am ready to go all out to get my grades this sem. Dun care whether it can be used for uni or nt , but i am just goin all out. I have decided the degress that i wanna take in SIM , but i have nt searched for backup overseas uni.

one of my fren actually copied my msn note " are emotions beyond our control" so funny la ... like wow , my words have an impact man. Erm almost all the happy go lucky ppl i noe are always sensitive towards emotions n feelings. Sometimes , ppl smile just to make ppl beside us feel happier.

Emotions are beyond my control
Tears are beyond my control
Tears just flow even when i am tryin to hold it back
When u are closer to someone, ur expectations of that person is higher
When expectations are raised, the hurt caused is also higher.

Sammi fanatic has just finished watchin sammi's recent interview .. (haha it rhymes) Hmm.. first week of sch is happy , realli had a great thur n fri, out with daph n dada, been a long time since the crazy 3 of year 1 spent time together. Daph wants to be happy , Sammi fanatic wants to be happy too , Shuwen ... is happy ? Dun noe cause she never tell me .. hee.. I think sammi fanatic is in the process of finding ways to overcome certain unhappiness in her life. She has overcome a little le, as what she said in her previous entry, "kan kai " on certain things for example she has lifted the load of her heart on her father, she does nt think that her mother can be a heavy bag to carry, she starts reading books ( this its shockin man ) she starts to relate to her religion more by tryin hard to go to church n talk to god more. She is nt so hot tempered n happier now .

Yup .. i am happier compared to before , but there a lot of things in my life which i hope to improve, i am nt a perfect person no one is , so sometimes being angry with myself is fine, the past i always get frustrated over being angry with myself abt my failures. I am onli 19 what i am experiencing or thinking now is just peanuts to what my future is gonna experience. For the past few months i have been constantly trying to win over my bad points that made me unhappy, well i think its bcos i noe that i am gonna be 20 , n its time for me to have a diff mindset towards life.

I wanna post pics so that i can admire my own beauty ( haha ) but huang shuwen has nt given me the pics.. haiz .. I dun wan my post to be just words today .. so i posted two sammi's drawings n writtings that sammi fanatic liked.

Projects are waiting for me to get my hands on ..

Doors Closed , In my own small small world

Doing my own stuffs, Listening to my own words

Listening to the familiar voices on my mp3's

Thinking abt my plans

Enjoying every sec of being immersed in what i am doing

Enjoying my stuffs , enjoying the quietness

Addicted to my world.

If u love a man , u need to understand him n nt to love him alot

When a man loves a women, he no need to understand her , he just needs to love her.

Pics of KL , I love the current sch timetable, there is time to breath although i feel the stress alrd. human relationships has made sch complicated.. haha .. it happens everywhr. .

Gonna make coffee n read my book nw.. Tml will be my world with my buddies !!!!!!!!!

Bye Holidays ! Hello Sch ! Bye Work ! Hi Ageing ! Hi Heaven

Life is all about phases, different kind of phases u do diff things n lead diff kind of life. In different points of life we need to courage to face urself n face ur future. There is no need to look back or ponder over the past or thinking about ur regrets. What we can do is to think abt our future and make our life as happy. "I am happy because i am happy" really like this answer that i gave amanda today when she asked me a question. Yup ! Currently i am in a stage where my mind is very clear, feeling carefree n happy. I am kinda ready to face the coming stress from sch and also the anger, sadness , and dissappointed that i will meet in future. I think i am nt as pessimistic as b4, a lot of thing i " kan kai " le. I am feeling the change n the drive of me to live , i also dun noe wat happen.. hee .. but just have this feeling inside me.

KL trip was quite ok, did not shop much, realli very little. Went genting after 13years, hmm nt a place for me . I dun realli like to go malaysia actually. Cause i am very fussy over food hygenie and also customer service. So its not realli a place for me to go frequently. Hopefully the next travel place would be vitenam or brisbane in dec or jan. I love travelling now, a lot things to experience, its amazing to see how diff country citizens lead lives.

i am impressed by mandy lam!

Its 2.25 am . i can't slp bcos its too early for me. After visting mandy's blog i seriously feel that she can be a writer man. Her writings are like chinese novels. Realli very good at her words. Act her article views i have alrd heared b4 la , from our some times in-depth discussion durin meetings. This girl's mind is more complicated than me .

I realli like the sentence where she said , if there is no eternal love, then "what " is the thing that ppl seek for in life. If once own /once love is enough then when u lost that "love" why do ppl feel sad n even have thoughts of depression.

Diff ppl will have diff answers regardin this issue. Well , to me i always feel that love is a very sensitive issue to talk abt, and loving someone, or being loved all these things can't be simply put in words. Actually feeelings can never be truly expressed in words. The word "I love U " does nt realli attracts me , cause it has become a thing that everyone just say easily . Thats why i always use it to joke ard. haha. I am nt a person who like to discuss abt love life , or even ask other pplabt their love life. Ppl have diff perceptions ah.

Seriously i am still in a state of being impressed by mandy.. in chinese somemore lor , it took me quite some time to read the whole entry , and digest the words. Amazing!

Destination of 2008/2009

My goodness , i am so excited ... Daphy asked me to check out the price for the destinations so that we can save . Well , act i think its not very ex to go to italy , n maldives.
Package for italy, paris n ... is onli 2999. And u get to go to 3 countries..

Cause maldives there's nothing much to buy, and italy is more of a sightseeing country n a LV , Gucci country . I can't wait to go n see the clear blue sea, churches that are so grand , and dolphin n whale watching ... Cool ..

hmm.. just done the cd for my dad n passed it to him, seriously i dun wat changed my feelings towards him, maybe the determination to nt get angry over small things. I still do get irritatated at some things , of course i can't change all my hot temperness la . I dun hate him anymore, i also dun noe why, even when ytd he came back and like irritate my mum, i just did not scold him. Last time i would , amanda heared how i scold my dad just bcos he ask me to change the tv channel. Hmm, without hate i feel better a lot, at least i wun get angry n frustrated when i discuss the topic with mummy. Sometimes i even feel so weird treating him so good. HAHA... jason is in a not so good mood nowadays bcos of stress at work n lack of slp. I hate it when he always call me n mummy "A" or "Oui".. such a rude boy! He's too ang moh minded.

Talkin abt ang moh, when i follow mummy go eat today the food stall auntie told my mother she closed , but when 2 ang moh asked her , she say she open. So racisit , look down on ur own ppl. When i go out with my bro's gf also we get better service. Mummy ask me to write into forum, cause now the hot topic is racist in s'pore after a reporter wrote in. I think if i write in i will get sued . Cause i dun understand why singapore govt promotes singapore as " racial harmony "country when Singapore is a " U dun noe chinese ? Bye Bye! " country.

Packed my stuffs cause i wanna sell all unwanted n unused stuffs on mocca n yahoo auctions. I regreted not keepin my posters in gd condition if nt i can sell them. Ytd i walk , walk walk , n walk . Clementi go bugis, bugis walk to arab street, arab street walk to dun noe whr , then chinatown walk to central shoppin, central walk to clarke quay, clarke quay walk to liang court. All bcos we wanted to find good beads n charms shop, we made gd discovery ... but all closed.. so suay. But we will buy onli when we r back from KL, i am feelin very restless today, its the last monday of holiday. I dun realli feel excited abt sch , neither the KL trip. Cause i will be back on sunday , next day sch starts at 8am. I hope i wun feel moody bcos of the lack of slp on monday. But i think i will , cause its irritating teacher kevin wee ! I hate this man , such a nag.

While packin i gt into a mood of doing this .. My whole sammi cheng sau man collections, plus 3 concert tickets i think i can buy the air ticket to las vegas. I gt a shock myself too. All my sec sch pocket money. My first good progress award was spent on a sammi concert ticket. ahaha .. Mummy is becoming sammi fanatic number 2. She a bit siao alrd. I think among all the collection , the best was the first vcd my bro bought for me,he like her first, then i even gt so angry why he buy sammi not faye wong which i asked for.

This are evidence of sammi fanatic, i think one day i shld take a pic of all the letters of quarrels with chen hui xin ( quarrel fanatic) in class during sec sch let u all see how unreasonable that women is , everything under the sun also can quarrel. But i think the quarrels in sec sch filled up part of our memories. It made us go through many stuffs.

My fear of promises ( Photos may be disturbing)

Went to visit my grandma n my aunt today at the cemetery, my mum wanted to take pic so since i take pic so i just show u all ba, thoese who never been to lawn cemetry. I did a very funny thing , as we were leaving , i saw this poor lawn where the person pic n stone all covered by the dead n dried grass, so i clear for him lor... Its a old man , and my mother actually wanted me to see his lawn number, such a coincidence, its my date of birth lor . I had a great time with mummy today , keep laughin cause we were in good mood, we went sun plaza and took a long bus ride home while listening to ipod, mummy even wished the uncle drive slower.

I seriously think i am so amazing, just now i write my diary on some very personal stuffs la , then now can come n blog, i am having split personality. I think my best soul mate is myself. Hx say i am pathetic , i think everyone is pathetic in his own ways .. Haha .. we are just pathetic people living in this beautiful world/outer shell.

Sammi fanatic is sick, in a drowsy mood, and feeling restless with no mood to do anything except listening to songs.

A song that truly define my perceptions on relationships... Nice song

Women in love

Life is a moment in space
When the dream is gone it's a lonelier place
I kiss the morning goodbye But down inside, you know we never know why
The road is narrow and long
When eyes meet eyes and the feeling is strong I turn away from the wall,
I stumble and fall, but I give you it all

Chrous:
I am a woman in love
And I'd do anything to get you into my world and hold you within
It's a right, I define, over and over again
What do I do?
With you eternally mine
In love there is no measure of time
We planned it all at the start
That you and I live in each other's heart
We may be oceans away
You feel my love, I hear what you say.
No truth is ever a lie, I stumble and fall, but I give you it all

(Chrorus)
Ooooh Yes I am a woman in love and I'm talking to you, Y
ou know I know how you feel, what a woman can do.
It's a right, I define, over and over again.
What do I do.I
'm a woman in love
And I'll do anything to get you into my world
And hold you within
It's a right I define ....

Stop playin games jason .. u r 28 yrs old

My bro is playin war games on his com , and i can hear all the shootin.. i noe amanda is waiting for the pics but i wanna write some stuffs first. Hmm.. how i wish i have a diary with me everytime i sit long bus rides, i enjoy long bus rides just so relaxing, and feelings of the days just go thru ur minds. Like how u enjoyed ur day , or even how bad is ur day. Well i had a great day shoppin with amanda, been a lot time since we had some " er ren shi jie" .

We ate sakae buffet , frens ard me eat n say that they are angry with themselves by eating so much , haha that happens to me also. We will just have to admit that we dun have determination, but instead of being angry at myself , or makin swears that i won't eat so much , which 98% of the girls dun fufil, i am trying to find determination, onli determination n perserverance can make it sucessful, realli wondered hw i n hx were able to lose weight last time. Girls that restort to pills is onli bcos 1) Realli desperate 2) No determination

I hope i n hx the blogshop will be sucessful. Goin italy n maldives with daph when we r 21-22 , and goin rendang island with mandy n gang for graduation trip. So i need to save up. Okok .. better go upload pics.. tml is at home with daddy, so i better go download his songs if nt he's gonna give me the sad face again