its 4.02 am , and i am surfin the net , i can't slp when i went to bed at 2am, dun noe whether bcos for the herbalife or bcos there are so many things on my mind. yeah , i seriously like to think a lot man.. i need to wake up early later , i seriously need to go to bed soon. hmm.. i feel that the weeks passed fast although i still have 5 more weeks of holiday.. just now i , mandy n dada had a real long talk.. talk abt lots of stuffs, thats why i can't slp la , cause i can't make a decision. yeah, but i think i will talk to my mother abt the stuff soon. I am lookin forward to sammi's concert on 13oct and also my hk trip, i have been put in charge to find out how to travel around and the places that we wanna go visit.. Act i wanna go lan kwai fong for a drink with mummy. So cool man, its the place every tvb drama will show. Planning the things is not easy man , i have gotten some info from the net, but every thing is here n there. Nvm , tml i shall ask yixun everything.. hehe

hmm.. this few days i just feel tired but i can't slp at night .. my stupid AV a lot sia, until i feel like goin on drips for 5 days.. Hmm.. i am quite pissed by a few stuffs the past few days , nt realli very pissed , just a bit irritated. alot of relatives wanna borrow money from my mother so i a bit pissed, cause when my mother ask u all help , then u all chase us like mad to return then nw wanna borrow. I can't learn a third lang all bcos my mother lend money to u all. i hate ppl to take advantage or bully my mother lor. but they are relatives so i can't do anything..

hmm .. will be meeting hx tml, i think we seriously need to sort all the misunderstandings and our own feelings and thinkings tml. Honestly, she's the pillar of my life too. alrd part of my family, so i dun wan any more misunderstandings.

Ps: shuwen, i am nt workin la , I listen to u also blur , since when i got job? the job dicussion shld stop le ba , its like never ending, but anyway i hope u n mandy are happy working.. all bcos u work then i can't see u lor ! hmph !

Life is ..

Life is full of moments of waiting,

waiting for bus, waiting for friends

waiting for results, waiting for hope

waiting for love, and waiting for sucess

每一个人都在等,另一个人. 你在等的人,到了吗?

Memories

Memories will live in our heart forever

Memories make us 幸福

Memories make us 痛苦

Memories can be filled with love, hate, regrets,love and misery.

Our heart will stop beating one day, but our memories will live there forever.

The places we went,things we did, will always have our scent.

Love

Love can be fragile, but it can be strong too

Love can be eternal,but it can be short-lived too

Love makes a person have all kinds of feelings

U made my day, brighten up my life once

U also brought sadness to me

Time can heal all wounds, and i no longer feel hurt

The memories we had will live in my heart forever

我会记得,我的世界曾经有过你的脸.

Friendship

Just like love, friendship can be fragile, and strong too.

True friends will never abandon you no matter what

Good frens would want to share their feelings ,thoughts and things with you

True frens will respect and trust you

Good frens will feel your sadness,happiness and problems

A true friendship should be eternal.

I was organising my memories box stuffs, and i had the urge to take pic of some of things inside there. Wonderful memories that i shared with ppl..

Postcards, letters,notes from Hx.. Things from her fills more than half of my memories box

All my past cheapo lookin daries ..

Cards from daphy..
Our sisterhood badge

Pubbin memories with daphy..

The days we shared together

card made by liming..

Drinks at NEW ASIA Bar .. the shots were great !
the view at the 70th storey of swisshotel , New asia bar.. ( its a bad pic though )
My new cybershot .. i love it ...
Hmm.. this is my beloved bro n gf .. ( he still loves me more !)
i recommed jolin's new song , 特务J..


All those are just some random pics la .. nothin to blog today..

a day of scary experience ..

in the morning i gt freaked out by the cat sounds in my nightmares, then in the afternoon the stupid bird fly inside my kitchen , then dun noe how to fly out so stupid , i gt to open the window bigger for him to fly out . i realli freaked out man..

i watched the shoot3 just now abt bloggin , so interesting , with xia xue. seriously sometimes i wonder why wld ppl wanna read xia xue blogs , so borin man .. i have onli brwose thru 3 times .. first when my fren shoot me .. " huh u dun noe hu is xia xue ?" then i go see her blog .. the sec time was when my fren tell me abt her blog can earn money i was so amazed , so i go see how she earn money with the ads .. i wun waste my time readin her blog cause its not my cup of tea..
i always feel that blogs are very personal , not for the whole world to see. those who wants the whole world to know their life , they are just seekin attention to fill up the emptines in their life.

i very old fashioned ... a blog shld be onli use to write ur thots and keep memories , nt for u to brag abt ur life , hopin that ppl envy ur life. and also blogs can me used to do biz , for example sell things.

one blog which is in my daily digest would be joanne's blog .. honestly sometimes i also dun noe why i like to read her blog , cause i dun agree to her way of earning cash and also her character .. i think i just very kaypo. But one think i admire abt her is that she dun use blog viewership to earn money.

Bloggin is addictive .. i am goin to read my daily digests now.

i sticked to my decision, and did not go to work, however the company person said she would ask the supervisor if i can take leave for the period of time where i am going hk.. yah .. but she has nt called till now , so i think can't lor ... even better.. the feelin of stayin at home alone is great, my father was at home though, but i just keep myself in my own room, readin my books and watchin my vcds. so far, today is a sucessful day of dieting .. i went running( although suppose to gym but i overslept) and i ate amanda's so called yucky oats. Its nice actually... hmm .. bloggin is addictive.. putin thoughts into words makes u understand urself more actually.

I was thinkin wat i can do to improve my resume's since i am nt workin for this holiday.. maybe i shld pick up a new language... korean , jap , n spanish are some that i am interested.. but i wonder if it is too ex..

i thought of a lot of things today.. like why has things changed? can things go back to its original place, and how can i make myself feel better even when things are nt what i expect. too many thoughts .. but i shall take my own time to discover, and maybe its time for me to change my character a little.

Ps : da n mandy thanks darlins.. i am fine, dun worry i just need time to think and get off the sadness n anger in me. happy workin u 2.. maybe we can meet up next week for dinner.

decision made.. i am nt gonna work.. wat for i slog , but the money is saved to give a useless man. i gonna take my own time to recover, most importantly to rethink abt things, and be alone for a while..

Mood tunnel

its been a bad day for me , i am sick, feelings filled with hate n sadness n dissapointment. I just dun understand , u all can complain to me , but when i complain to u , i am bad tempered? wats this.

i told u nt to give him money, he will keep asking, i told u if u give him, i will leave u. But u did not listen, there are so many pitiful ppl out there, he has hands and legs , he has a job and yet he expects us to pity him?? u said just treat it as charity, when u know that he is gonna gamble it away.for all these years, i never once tell u that how much i wanted a gd father, a loving family, wat i wanted from u , its let him get out of my life.. u always tell me if jason can tolerate why can't I . thats bcos, he comes n irriates me, and u come and complain to me . Have u ever stand in my position to think. I know that u will give me money if i am nt workin, but to lessen ur burden i choice to find a job,and now , u are giving him money.. to gamble.. then why shld i go and work? i rather u spend the money on me n jason .

i told u, if i study in singapore i can't live with him, have u nt forgotten the times when its exam and he comes back and irritates us, i dun want my life to be affected by him.. why shld i take pity on a person who only say he loves me thru words, but i had never received his love? I told u before, if u wanna stay with him, i am fine with it, but dun complain , cus thats ur choice.

u all onli know how to say i dun love u all, dun care.. have u all tot of my feelings ? what must i make u all do understand, jump off the building and then write a note to tell u all that i love u ?why are u all so selfish. i am suppose to protect u all and love u all, then hu protect me ? i tired , seriously tired.. u always say that i dun concern abt u , watever i post in this fuckin blog affects ur thinkin, if u are so sensitive then dun read this fuckin blog la. why make urself so miserable.
i thot the problem was solved, but i was wrong.. we promised to work hard to improve our friendship, and u always think that other frens have replaced u , come on man , i dun have a bf , i onli have my frens ard me, of course i will go out and stick with them most of the time. always based on ur assumptions , u judged me. last week i was feelin down, i was hopin to tell u my feelings when u are back, and when i told u that i had so many things to tell u , u just shoot me of with a " like real" . the person that used to understand me the most, and the first person that i think of everytime , doubts me .. How does that feel??

There's nothing i can do n want to do nw.. tears will flow,and i will wipe them off myself. if u feel that u are leadin a miserable life, whr no one loves u .. then just kill urself.. dun complain..

There are people who loves me alot, but sometimes what i need more is u all tryin to understand the real me.

Day out with shuwen n mum

today is a great day ! went orchard with amanda and barney mummy. my mum keep bad mouth in front of amanda lor .. i no more face le la. It was a great shoppin trip , very long time never shop with my mother le , barney mummy wanted to bring us for high tea at raffles the plaza hotel , but luckily i reminded her that she's nt a tai tai . That women , everytime imagine she is tai tai.. In the end , we settled for coffee at far east. My mother likes amanda nw ... everytime i say go out with amanda then she will say OK ! Next time we shld have a outing with barneymummy , barney , and all barney dears n darlins. I think barney mummy will go bankrupt.

Oh barney is goin hk on oct 18-22 .. its a mth away .. but i know u guys will miss me when i go holiday rite ...

Zouk with the kiasi gang .. haha

Went zouk with the kaisi gang ytd.. ( sorry ester dear, i went clubbin instead of sendin u off.. dun hate me .. But i send a romantic sms to u lei , and u idiot send me such a cold reply! so unromantic!)

it was the first time clubbin for yx n mandy... i know they gt a shock with the amt of people, cause its ladies night, my goodness there is so many ppl. But luckily we did nt go inside MOS , if nt we will be surronded by ah bengs n Mina. Zouk 's crowd is better. We had a fun .. but it was so hard to dance with so many ppl. And everywhere is pretty girls.. i was telling them that i can't find anyone uglyier than me... sob.. i need plastic surgery... after zouk we went clarke quay cause we did nt want to waste money on midnight charge, so mandy,yx, dada n I went to mac. honestly i tot i will give up half way n just take a cab back. But... we stay at mac till 5.30am. so amazing .. we gt to see the nice quiet view of clarke quay early in the morning.. so peaceful, when there is no more night life.

Although i am amazed with myself for stayin out so late, i woke up with terrible sore throat. and my mummy say i ah lian ... ( sob ... ) my mood is nt realli very good today, cause of the sore throat and also the stupid tekmedia, asked me to work this weekend then suddenly disappear, and the stupid david , never even update us. Make us wait n wait.. I am halfway to getting done with my cleanning at home .. so i dun want to hang in the air, i have gotten enough rest alrd.

Felt damm pissed n depressed just now, and i throw my temper at amanda. sorry da, i know whenever i angry , u very poor thing cause u r always my target. haiz .. ppl whom i always su ku,are nt here, stupid huixin, when i need u, u go hk. stupid ester, go wat france la , singapore no gd meh .. (just kiddin la , scoldin ppl makes me happier. u all better enjoy urself k ) shit i think i become sadist alrd. Luckily , mandy lam .. cheer me up with her " happy man " .. thanks mandy, i noe u have been busy listening n cheering up amanda n I.

Ok .. its pics time again ..

Ps : Kiasi gang , pls dun scold me if i post ugly pics k , cause u all r always so pretty in my eyes ah , Anyway my blog onli gt 6 ppl read onli . I am nt so cruel to put on friendster .. like MANDY LAM WOON HUI !

Pics shall do the talkin

My bf proposed alrd.. haha ..its my mummy diamond ring
barney n barneymummy

she just loves to take pics 24hrs
shuwen n barney
2 barneys !!

slackin with them was cool
she wants wee kiong now , dun wan me alrd

Sisterhood .. Memories

actually i had no feelin or no mood to blog today, but after viewing some of my sisterhood frens the blog, it had left me some thoughts and left me with flashbacks of the past secondary sch days with them. Hmm .. so fast, all of them changed, last time they were the pure sec sch ah lians wearing slippers and bermudas. loitering at arcades. We even join as a grp of 11 called sisterhood cause we dun wan to kena bullied by others. I was always never scared of anything, cause i know if i tell them , they will help me chu tou.

i still remember the days where every weekend we will go arcade n waste time. Now , they are all grown up , things on their wishlist are Gucci bags and LV.. Nana has also become from bad to worse .. last time when i realised that their lives is not what i want , i always wanted to help them go back to the right path. I still remember how i and hx tried to change Nana , and how strict we were on her. But its still no use. Act i am glad to see that the rest of them have alrd grown up. Although i can never lead the life that they are leadin , i have never look down on them. i admit sometimes i feel that they are wastin their lives , goin in and out of school. But they are most loyal grp of frens that i have. even i n hx seldom meet them, maybe onli one year once gatherings . But they still treat us very good, and never kick us out of sisterhood .. ahaha..

Still, i hope that one day, they will do things not for the sake of playin anymore, but seriously think what they want to do for their lives.

just finished hk drama series , My green grass of home. A very nice love and environmental focus drama. Makes me wanna go for a village holiday. Hmm.. i just realised that there are a lot of things undone at home, and i can predict that mummy is gonna nag at me soon. I think i shall spend most of the time at home next week . the comming weeks would be catching up sessions with my secondary sch peeps and n primary sch buddy , and also annice n gang. Hope things would turn better for sha n annice at ipp. As for jobs , i would see if the telemarketer job is attractive a nt , but workin with amanda makes it attractive alrd. Haha .. if nt then i shall just wait for tekmedia to give me jobs when there are assignments. In the mean time, i seriously need to get things organised, have been slackin and wasting time too much le. Ester dear ask me to be motivated, so i shall nt be lazy barney if nt she won't want me anymore when she 's back. I need to upload lots of pics later man. Sian la , all bcos of amanda huang .. and amanda huang, this is my last warning to you , STOP matchmaking me to RUM. i like vodka n tequlia onli ( haha)

This is my babyxin.... a possesive women :)


The small girl is sitting alone waiting for parents .. ( I will never leave my child alone like that! Stupid parents !)