Truths of my heart

Its been a long time since i have been so emo ... Emo till the extend that i decided to vent it off the treadmill. When i came home n saw the skirts that he bought for me i seriously felt so confused. I have no idea what is his motive. The thought that came to my mind was that it is all too late. I seriously dun understand his defination of loving his children, sometimes love sometimes dun love ? After the court stuffs has started , the times of coming back home n receiving shit from him has reduced but that does not mean a change in him. I can predict the real " shit" will come by end of the month after there is a verdict. Honestly, i am kinda worried of the emotional tunnel that we all have to go through from there on. It is definately not going to be easy for all of us. And by that time i would have to deal with my emotions and going to work. All these just push me to be more stronger, standing on my own feet dealing with everything. Hmm .. seriously have the urge to travel alone , wonder when can i do that !!