Freakin sick n tired of all the "shit" . Why shld I be always so bothered , why am I always the one to carry all the stupid emotions that u all give me ? I seriously feel that for the 22 yrs of my life I have been too soft, every thing I protect, I handle , I listen , I accompany . The baggage is getting heavier n heavier ... I am freakin sick n tired ... Sick n tired yet I have to just continue walkin .. There is no time for me to even escape anymore.

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52 more mins to off work !! N I can't wait for it . I can't wait to see my baby. My baby loves me
The most , understands me the most n can tolerate me the most ..

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Came home straight from work cause I am feelin emo. I think too many factors that me emo until I
also dun Noe why I emo. Watched drama n cry. but feelin I never cry enough. And freaking hell when I am emo , he call n ask me for money. I seriously dun understand whr his money goes . Why do ppl always only see their own shadow?

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Cranky day today cause I am sick... feel like a baby, even see doc alone also feel so bored.. Haha.. But I feel the love from baby .. So sweet.. Had a great heart to heart talk with her ytd.. Realli miss the times we spend together, havin gone thru so much together I am nt afraid of that 3rd party!! Haha ... She can jolly well wait. I and babyxin has reach the stage of unconditional friendship n love le ok !!!


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Its been a long time since i have been so emo ... Emo till the extend that i decided to vent it off the treadmill. When i came home n saw the skirts that he bought for me i seriously felt so confused. I have no idea what is his motive. The thought that came to my mind was that it is all too late. I seriously dun understand his defination of loving his children, sometimes love sometimes dun love ? After the court stuffs has started , the times of coming back home n receiving shit from him has reduced but that does not mean a change in him. I can predict the real " shit" will come by end of the month after there is a verdict. Honestly, i am kinda worried of the emotional tunnel that we all have to go through from there on. It is definately not going to be easy for all of us. And by that time i would have to deal with my emotions and going to work. All these just push me to be more stronger, standing on my own feet dealing with everything. Hmm .. seriously have the urge to travel alone , wonder when can i do that !!