hmm .. i am wondering whether i shld go walk walk a nt .. i have gt new biz , so can spend some money. So long never go shoppin alone, but am thinkin where shld i go, and what i wanna buy ? the onli thing i noe that i must buy now , is 4D. My mother always ask me go buy 4D so embarrassing la. I dun like to buy 4D.

i have been workin hard on the recruit consultant job, cause if i show some performance, then maybe while waiting for uni i can go be recruit consultant at the office. nowadays ppl are so into the cyber world so many mad ppl around. And i disagree to ppl finding bf on the net, my mother 's fren daughter just broke up with the bf like 6 months ago, and she still owe him 10,000 bcos of her sch fees, and now she met a "ang mo black " nigro on the net. I ask my mother why is she so desperate for men, no men will die meh ? My mum said he's rich , can give her money, cause she very high class, then i told oh ya , just go to bed a few times can get money hor.. I can't stand girls hu are so cheap! Thats why i always turn down offers eatin dinner with them.

Mummy disagree to me not wanting to get married .. ahaha! Well, i noe how to change the light bulbs !

Rui en

i am bloggin for the sec time of the day .. i have too much feelings and thinkings now. Just wanna write them down.

I finally went to the lib to get psychology books. And i bought i weekly cause its rui en on the cover. My cool idol .

I was reading the issue, and realise that our thinking are very much similar even background. I always like the 9pm show , bcos of the rui en father part .. Hmm , rui en puts a barrier around herself so that she will nt get hurt by others, and its bcos of her past. Same with me, so far onli a few ppl have the capability to hurt me, cause i protect myself a lot. It may seems that i have a lot of close frens, but onli a few are realli able to get close to my heart,and affect me.

I gt a shock when i read that her parents divorced and from small her family has never been quiet, ( but mine , till 19 still not quiet yet.) Our thinkin is that if wanna quarrel then divorce, why must hurt the kids. she has a barrier towards love too. same as me. I guess aquarians have very independent character, and always protecting them self.

This holiday , i think i have gained a lot, cause i have found what truly makes me comfortable and happy. PR does nt make me happy, cause i hate having common character like any other ppl . but i admit that PR is important, we are living a world of fake ppl. Fake ppl always irritates me cause i dun understand why must be fake, and i feel disgusted and dejected when i am fake to ppl. I guess, when sch starts i can deal with all the PR stuffs in poly more well ba.

Dun need ppl to understand u , no need to explain, if they understand than its good, if nt its ok.
Having a barrier around urself, may nt be a bad thing. Its how we protect ourself and live happily.

Press on , take no hostages

Pic from the art gallery me n daphy went
This is mummy's work .
These are the 12 hp straps i did..

While shoppin .. we met the NS band ..

I dun noe wat does that phrase mean, but its rui en's favourite phrase. haha.. Hmm.. i came to blog , just to upload pics so that hx can steal. That stupid gal, deleted her blog when i just add it to my favourites ytd.. The air is so cool and nice today, i went down to check my bank acc, and feeling the wind blowing through, made me feel so fresh and happy.

Oh the home based job, is realli easy money, earned $120 bucks for far, just by replyin n readin emails. I am searching for some perm home based jobs, so that i can earn even when i start sch, now then i finally understand how my uncle can do internet marketing, and earn 10,000 a month. Hmm.. i am so excited abt concert on sat... I know its gonna be a enjoyable nite

happy go lucky ..

did so many things these few days , mainly shoppin haha ... today went to shoppin with hx n ytd with mummy. Had a great time out with hx, so sorry for her,she say she always have to do embarassing things with me , like meeting strangers to collect stuffs .. hehe.. i came back home feeling very tired, but .. i sat down with mummy to do necklace n hand phone straps.. i completed 12 handphone straps .. seriously i am amazed with myself.. I am too lazy to upload the pics today, tml then upload..

women dun need men to feel confident

hee .. i am back .. i found myself back alrd.. i was so sudden .. i was listening songs on my ipod.. then suddenly the though came to my mind .. " why have u cared what ppl feel abt u nowadays" well and thats the reason .

I have lost my old self bcos i began to mind how ppl think of me , i lost my confident cause i dun have a bf, i lost myself cause i began to envy and become jealous of ppl. i mind when ppl ask me whether i have a bf, and i had to say "NO " , and then they ask me go find.. so crapy huh .. i seriously dun noe wat happen , and to let ppl accept me more , i had to act fake to ppl even i dun like to.

But... i am happy that i found old- self back , i won't feel no confident anymore. Hx asked me wat makes me confident, i said understanding myself, being myself and being confident. If i have to care so much on how others think , then hw abt myself? i will be so uncomfortable. Hmm.. having gain myself back has made me more confident and made me brave.. the old jac is back le ..

all these might sound dramatic to u all huh.. heee

Oh i am bringin daph to espirt club lounge ( drinks on me k daphy) ..she's gonna bring me to new asia bar ( drinks on daphy .. haha.. ) great deal!

findin myself

" Understanding yourself is more important than people understanding you"

Saying " I will do XXXX" , why not say" I am doing XXXX"

i was reading the mag on sammi interview, and these two sentence by her impacted me.. when i read the letter she wrote to herself , i cried.. it was so touching.. Actually,last time i always believe tat understanding yourself is more impt than ppl understanding you. But i have changed this year. When hx told me that i have changed, i always told her that i believe that i have changed for the better bcos i have gain more frens. But ytd when i read the sentence understanding urself .... i asked myself " yah , what happen? i dun understand myself as much as i do before..

Hx told me to find myself back this holidays.. she is doing so too.. I told hx that i was proud of myself last time cause of my principles n character, and that i believe in what i do , and i believe in myself. yeah so i am findin myself back. extracted a post from my pre blog to remind myself

When i was in pri 5 , my thinkin was that frens were for survival sake ,maybe bcos the ppl that i met in pri sch were the real hypocrites that i have seen of my entire life . I remember tat i was disliked by some ppl n ppl even spit on my food . But that person became my fren . i was too proud at that time i think . and straight - forward . i always say horrible words to ppl i hated .

But i changed in sec 2 , i became lovely .. hee ... no la .. i can't explain hw i changed cus i forgot too .. frens were no more for survival sake . If u can't get along with the person than dun try , cause the kind of friendship will be very fake

For poly life .. although its onli half way thru i think i have seen a lot le ... The first week of poly i exprienced politcs .. yeah ... at that time i trusted no one but myself .. but i gained true frens at tat time like daph .. without her my poly life would be so borin n lonely . Luckily the politics ended by the sec semester . there were alot of misunderstandins i guess . I misunderstood some ppl from wat i saw as an outsider . But slowly i can see clearly .. but still i did not side anyone , if nt more politics will surface . and then the time came when ppl misunderstood me .. i did not realli care cause i was nt in a wrong . but luckily it ended fast ..

untidy,happy,dieting,relaxed.

to describe my life currently , these 4 words would be it .. untidy, happy go lucky, dieting, relaxed..

i have lots to write today.. firstly i need to say sorry to amanda, ytd i was unhappy with her, it was act a very small thing, but felt irritated cause i did not understand why is there the need to force me to go. and i onli slept 1 hr for the night, then in the morning , i think i walked a total of 3km to the banks, to get my internet banking.. yah so was moody ytd.. the herbalife realli very strong, cause i took it at night, so i cant fall asleep.

today i finally packed my clothes cupboard, i always wait till i gt mood then i do packing. i realised that i have so many clothes which the price tags are still there, i think i can open shop.

I think this holiday, i am like packing and washin, folding clothes, and cookin non stop.. my hse is in a mess, so many places to clean.. other than my bro room, my mother ask me to see what messy then pack, and i seriously dun understand why there is so much clothes to wash, i hate to hang clothes.. but now i hang until gt no feeling le.

housework has always been something that i hate , but this 2 mths holiday make me more nt lazy le, cause when u stay at home, u will feel irritated when its messy.. mummy said this holiday is good training for her qian jin da xiao jie.. last time whenever she ask me to do hsework , i will tell her i am qian jin xiao jie, my hands is nt for hsework.. she always get so irritated with me.

watched sammi's concert dvd while i was packing my room... oh my god, i so excited for 13oct.. ( goodness so creppy my mouse just move on its own on the screen.. )

the four person is linked to my life is... mummy, bro , hui xin and sammi..

my mother ask me ytd" ur frens gt say ur mother love u so much ma , buy sammi concert ticks, hk trip, camera, and somemore never ask u go work" ahha .this is how my mother always trick me to sayang her. hx ask me that day , if one day my mother gone le, will i still go n commit sucide?( cause thats my thinkin last time) but now no le, i will not, i will study n work hard and make her be proud of me, so tat all her love n efforts will nt be wasted.

oh .. another thing today was that jeslin ask me to go work with her for 2 weeks.. i gt a shock, she say she's startin work tml, ask wanna join a nt.. i rejected her cause i am goin hk the follwin week, but if i never go hk , i also won't consider, i think i will feel so uncomfortable for 2 weeks..

stayin at home so shiok n happy , i dun wanna work le la.. i sign up for the home based data entry job, i hope i would be sucessful and i will nt get cheated.. need to pay 30 bucks first, but i use ebanking so think the person gonna get money on thur or fri , which means i have to fear of gettin cheated for 2 more days...

this is the pile of clothes from my cupboard which i just chuk inside.. it's all nicely hanged now

I am gonna pack that 2 areas tml .. haiz.. this is how messy i am ..

Ok , this pic is evidence on how "ai mei "my bro is his cleanser is more than mine ok.. sometimes i feel so ashamed to be his sister, i shld be bro, he be sister... his room is neater than mine too..